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Six Sigma Parenting Tip #1: Snack While Peeing
Six Sigma is a process in business management that strives to find the most efficient method for performing tasks, supported by thorough analysis and statistical findings. While it is said to work...
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The Unveiling
PHOENIX, Ariz. – In a reportedly packed surprise press conference late Wednesday evening, John Pseudonymous, esteemed author and CEO of Twinfamy made an announcement sure to rock the Internet to its...
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Did He Just Say What I Think He Said?
There is a moment that every Daddy waits for. Typically (or stereotypically, if you’d prefer), Mommy is the all-star. The intensity of the mother-spawn connection is undeniable. After spending nine...
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Coyote Fugly: Part 1 – Your Friendly Neighborhood Predator
I was already mourning the morning walk. Before we’d even traveled a block my dog had decided to lead the caravan, walking directly in front of the jogging stroller, her hindquarters mere inches from...
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Don’t Call Me Mr. Mom
Someone Who Shall Remain Nameless: So are you still being Mr. Mom? Me: You know, the term “Dad” works just fine. Sure, I could have just let it go. I could have replied, “Yes, I am still being Mr....
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Whine Begets Wine
My wife’s employer graciously allows her to work from home one day a week so she’s able to spend more time with the Twins, and although she’s asking them not to slam on her laptop’s keyboard for a good...
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Thesis The End
...in which Our Hero defends His dissertation from paintball snipers and Tatooine gangsters, and revels the gender of His forthcoming child.
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What Exactly Do You Mean By That?
Wife: Okay, I’m going to work! Have fun today. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! . Me: So I can’t pee standing up? . Well, I thought it was a valid question. . You may also enjoy: If not…Well,...
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Not Wearing Any Panties
Wife: (to my son) Okay, Buddy. Let’s change your panties. . Me: …My son wears pants…NOT “panties.” . . You may also enjoy: If not, maybe you need to change YOUR pants.
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Not So Fast
“Stupid rental car,” my wife growled. “Huh?” I bumbled, snapping out of an exhausted daze. “I thought we liked the rental car.” Having ventured to Maui with my parents, we’d rented a minivan that would...
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